The Helpmeet Factor

Purpose driven perspective to choosing your life partner.

One area lot’s of single persons have a challenge in their relationship is in choosing the appropriate person to get married to. It really could be tough especially when you have several options. I want to share with you a common sense approach I learnt from insights gotten from God’s word. I call this “The help meet factor”.

In Genesis chapter one, verse eighteen God said “…it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” We must understand the context from which God spoke in order to understand where He is going.”  Adam had been put in an environment that placed tremendous demands on his creative and managerial potentials. He had been proven to be responsible to some extent; he was aligning himself to the purpose for which he was created. His life had direction and he was productive in the field.

In the previous edition, i shared with you a few insights that would help inform your decision while choosing a life partner. We looked at building genuine friendship, praying and listening keenly for God’s direction. Here,i’ll be sharing with you a core factor in choosing a life partner and it’s the “help meet factor”. This concept is gotten from God’s statement in Genesis 2:18 (KJV)

And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”

We must understand the context from which God spoke in order tom understand where He is going to. Adam had been put in an environment that placed tremendous demands on his creative and management potentials. He had become responsible as a result of the pursuit of God’s purposes and vision for his life. His life had a direction. He was out in the field working productively. Here’s a word to the guys who want to get married: what’s God’s purpose for your life? What vision are you pursuing? How responsible have you become? What’s the direction of your life? If you can’t manage a farm, you can’t lead a woman. It was just at this juncture that God decided to fill in the missing void and what was that? Another being who would compliment and relate with Adam. Someone who would engage his intellect in communication, arouse his emotional and temperamental disposition, challenge his leadership potential and create aplatform for maximum productivity.

Every marriage ought to have a corporate purpose which should originate from God’s calling on the man. God’s intent is that marriage eventually becomes His tool to improve our person, make us more productive and better disposed to express His dominion on the earth as a team.

It’s actually a synergy. Synergy is the cooperative interaction of the man and the woman so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects. That’s multiplied strength. Unfortunately, lot’s of persons mistakenly marry persons who are not complimentary (meet) to them and so we often hear statements like “  I can’t believe I’m married to such a draft and lazy man. His reasoning is so poor “or “I’ll           loose my mind if i keep living with this lady. She drives me knots. We just wouldn’t flow” and the story goes on.

The word “help meet” simply means a helper who is complimentary, meet, fit, suitable for you. It’s someone that completes you, makes you whole, supplies your mutual needs or offsets your mutual lack. It’s someone appropriate to your purpose, proper in size and shape. Let me mention here that being complimentary to a person does not mean being the same so be careful of persons who keep trying to bend you into becoming like them. If they’re not satisfied with the potentials God has gifted you with, then they’re the wrong persons in your life. I’m not saying either that we should not make effort to improve to be complimentary means being different but when put together, you create the biggest bang, you fulfil a bigger corporate purpose. It’s just like positive and negative, the lock and the key. The lock and the key are both different in size, shape and configuration but when put together, they determine the security of a house, whether the doors stay locked or open. Put them apart and they are almost helpless and useless. In conclusion, the concept of “help meet” implies that:

  1. The man must have discovered his purpose, conceived God’s vision and is pursuing it .
  2. The man needs the right kind of help that will multiply his strength.
  3. God’s purpose for his life actually determines who he marries & the qualities he will be requiring in a woman.
  4. In the pursuit of their corporate purpose, the woman is expected to function differently from the man by virtue of gifts, grace and dispositions yet corporately fulfilling purpose…